Girls' Night Out
by Mahler Avatar
Summary: Kim and company become aware that they're only characters in a Disney cartoon, as well as being unwilling actors at a certain fan fiction site. How might they react to that kind of sitch? Kim/Shego/Yori, but not Kigo. Rated T for suggestive content.
1. Chapter 1

_What would happen if the characters in Kim Possible somehow became self-aware of their roles as a Disney cartoon, and how would they react to some of the unusual sitches and pairings they were asked to portray in fan fiction? And if they weren't particularly amused at the thought, what might they try to do about it? _

_The standard disclaimers apply: Disney owns KP, not me, and I don't make any profit from this other than the joy of indulging in a little parody…_

_

* * *

_

Kim and Shego circled the other carefully, each looking for an opening to attack.

_Hmm. Not quite right …_

Kim and Shego circled the other hungrily, each looking for an opportunity to jump the other.

_Nah, too obvious …_

Kim and Shego circled the other warily, each eagerly looking forward to yet another battle.

_Better …_

"So, Cupcake. Here we are again."

"Yeah, so just hand over the device and I'll be on my way."

"Not so fast, Princess. What's the fun in that? You'll just have to come and get it."

Their eyes locked. Shego licked her lips in anticipation. With one swift flowing movement, she pounced. Pinning Kim to the floor, her grin widened.

"Now I have you exactly where I want you."

Kim feigned struggling while Shego continued to straddle her adversary.

_And now for the payoff …_

Kim's face now bare inches from her Green Goddess, their lips drew ever closer, until …

"Carl! This is the third time I've called you! Your dinner's getting cold!" A shrill voice from the other room suddenly interrupted his concentration.

Carl sighed. "Yeah, Mom, I'll be right there …"

He clicked the save button on his computer, turning the light out in his room as he left to eat his now lukewarm dinner.

His mother continued to scold him as he sat down at the table. "I just don't understand how you can just sit in front of that computer for hours writing those stories of yours, Carl."

As he shoveled in another mouthful of food, he replied, "They're not just stories, Mom. It's fan fiction. Totally different."

Carl's mother just shook her head. "Call them what you will, but while most of your high school friends are either out playing sports or going out on dates, you're cooped up in that room of yours. It's just not right."

Carl just answered absentmindedly, "Yeah, Mom …"

But as lethargic as he was physically as he played with his dinner, his mind was racing with ideas of how to continue his current Kim Possible fanfic. The few reviews to his earlier efforts had been tepid at best, so he was determined to spice this one up. He began to quickly finish his dinner so that he could resume writing his story just as soon as possible.

"Not so fast, young man. First you need to take out the garbage and finish your other chores. Then you can go back to your room and your stories."

Carl complained, "Aw, Mom …"

She folded her arms and gave her son a very stern look. "Don't 'Aw Mom' me, Carl. As long as you live under this roof, you'll do what I tell you. Do you understand?"

"Yes, Mom." Now resigned to his duties, he grumbled as he slowly pushed himself away from the dinner table.

_Meanwhile, back in the real world …_

Kim sighed heavily as she got to her feet. "Man, _that_ ended in just the nick of time. Well, Shego, it looks like yet another Kigo adventure, and not a very imaginative one at that."

The black and green clad villainess echoed Kim's discontent. "Yup, sure looks like it. And by the way, could you use a breath mint at the very least, Kim? As long as we're being forced into role playing these stories, you could at least make it tolerable."

"Sorry, Shego. Since we've all become self-aware after that Pan Dimensional Vortex Inducer accident last month, I'm still getting used to the whole 24/7 personal hygiene sitch."

Shego's stomach growled. "Well, shall we get something to eat before God's gift to KP fan fiction finishes his own dinner and returns to the scene of the crime?"

Kim brightened up. "Sounds spankin.' I told Yori we'd meet her over at that new sushi place. I'm so sick of being forced to eat at Bueno Nacho all the time, I could just throw up. Either there or Chez Couteaux, and no one's ever figured out that I really _hate_ French food. Can't these writers ever have me and Ron eat anywhere else?"

Shego nodded in agreement. "Sure would be nice, but don't hold your breath, Princess. And don't complain: at least you get fed. I can't tell you how many times over the past month I've had to scrounge around Drakken's lair for something even halfway decent to eat."

A few minutes later they entered Middleton's newest sushi bar. Yori smiled and waved them over to the table where she was sitting.

Kim tried to remain cheerful. "Hey, Yori, what's up?"

"Hey, Kim. Oh, the usual. I just wish that the writer in my current gig would come up with a different line than 'It would be my honor,' as I bow my head in servile deference. Hello, 21st century Japan is a lot different for women now than it used to be! It really makes me want to take the Lotus Blade and give some of these writers the Benihana treatment."

Her face broke out in a wicked grin. "Just once, it would give me great pleasure to slice and dice one of them up on a hibachi table, in delicious retribution for all those Psycho Stalker Ninja Babe fanfics …"

Kim laughed. "Whoa, Yori! _This_ is a side of you I don't see very often."

Shego chuckled as well. "Yeah, but at least she's not being paired up with every Tom, Dick and Harry in the KP universe. I'm tired of constantly bouncing back and forth between you, Drakken and Ron most of the time. One writer even paired me with Ned at Bueno Nacho once."

Kim snorted. "Ned? That's just _wrongsick_. Well, at least no one's shipped you yet with Yori, as far as I can remember."

Shego grimaced, "Good going, Kim. Now that you've said that, someone undoubtedly will _now_."

Shego and Yori each shuddered and reflexively grabbed their breath spray.

As Kim swallowed another piece of sushi, a curious look came over her face. "Y'know, Yori, you may have just given me an idea. What if we could find some way to travel into the writer's world and shake them up a bit with a little payback sitch? Wouldn't that be fun?"

Yori nodded vigorously. "Yes, Kim-chan! It would be wonderful to inflict your American style of revenge upon some of these wannabe authors."

Shego agreed wholeheartedly. "Yeah, I'm real tired of being made to dance like a puppet in every lame-brained story that suits some of these geeky fanboys. I'd jump at the chance to turn the tables on 'em. But how?"

Kim scratched her chin in thought. "I'm not sure, but I think I've got an idea on who can help."

She activated her wrist Kimmunicator. A pudgy African-American boy appeared, slurping his usual soda.

Obviously bored, he offered a half-hearted greeting. "Hey, Kim. What's up?"

"Wade, I'm here with Shego and Yori. We were wondering if you knew of any way we could cross over into the writer's world for awhile for a little revenge sitch?"

He perked up immediately. "Whoa! That sounds like an awesome idea, Kim! Let me think for a minute." His hands flew across his computer keyboard. "I think I have an idea. And the Pan Dimensional Vortex Inducer might be just the ticket."

The three young women leaned closer in eager anticipation as the boy genius continued. "You're in luck: it's currently located at the Middleton Institute of Technology. The last writer to use it forgot to have it moved back to its top secret laboratory in an undisclosed location. The bad news is that it's still under lock and key, Kim."

Shego cracked her knuckles. "No problem, Nerdlinger, that's right up my alley. It'll be a piece of cake."

Kim smiled. "You rock, Wade! We'll bring it over as soon as we can grab it."

She switched off her Kimmunicator and turned to her friends. "Shego, I know what we're gonna do today."

Shego grimaced. "Uh, Kim, wrong catch phrase?"

"Oops, sorry. Been watching too many current Disney cartoons, I guess."

A thought crossed Yori's mind. "Kim-chan, shouldn't we also invite Stoppable-san? I believe he would enjoy our little plan as well."

"He probably would, but I think he and Drakken are currently tied up in some kind of weird retro Wannaweep sitch at the moment."

They all made a face at the thought of what that could lead to, and Shego suddenly looked a tad greener than usual.

"You can skip the details on _that_ one, Cupcake."

Yori nodded in agreement, looking slightly ill herself. "Yes, please and thank you, Kim-chan. So I assume this will be, as you say, girls' night out?"

Kim grinned. "You got it, Yori. So, what are we waiting for?"

And with that, the three young women quickly left to put the first part of their diabolical scheme into action.

Shego purred, "Ooh, I really like the sound of that last sentence, Kim."

"Yes, Shego, I do too. This will be simply spankin' …"

* * *

**_To Be Continued …_**


	2. Chapter 2

It was child's play for Shego as she rappelled down an air shaft into the Middleton Institute of Technology. Her senses were on high alert as usual, even though she knew no one would be foiling her thievery this time around, especially with Kim and Yori acting as the lookouts. Within five minutes, the deed was done. Fifteen minutes later the trio eagerly arrived at Wade's.

Shego smiled as she handed the PDVI to the boy genius. "It's amazing how something so small could cause so much trouble."

Wade agreed. "Yeah, but if it wasn't for this, we never would have realized that we were just cartoon characters on a TV show. Thanks to that take-over-the-world scheme of Drakken's that went so wrong about a month ago, we're all self-aware now."

Shego frowned. "Yeah, we're sentient now, which _should_ have given us the right of self-determination. Unfortunately, we still seem to be residing on the servers of some fan fiction website, and we're still at the beck and call of any hack's hare-brained idea of a new story to place us in."

Kim interjected, "That's true Shego, but you have to admit there are quite a few good writers out there too. I just object to doing it against our will, and especially in a poorly-written or out-of-character sitch."

"Yes, Kim-chan, but that will be changing very soon. Right, Wade-san?"

"That's right, Yori. And since my character is a super-genius, it should only take me a few minutes to hook everything up."

Kim began to wonder what form they would take. "Wade, when we get to the other side, will we actually be human, or are we just going to end up being some kind of 3-D animation?"

"Hard to tell, Kim. I guess you'll find out when you get there."

Shego frowned in concern. "You mean you don't know? And by the way, this _is_ safe, isn't it? I don't want to make this trip only to get depixelated into limbo. I trust you a lot more than I would Dr. D, but still …"

"Not to worry, Shego." Wade smiled. "I'm positive it's ok. But just to make sure …"

Wade attached the last connection and made a few final adjustments. Flipping a switch, his modified laser scanner shot out a red beam of energy, enveloping his portable video camera within its glow. It shimmered briefly, and with a bright flash, it was gone.

"Now let's see what we're actually living in."

Wade activated a remote control unit, and an image appeared on his computer screen. Rows of what looked like computer banks could be seen, with green lights rapidly winking on and off, lighting up the darkened enclosure. It was obviously a server room.

Kim, Shego and Yori watched in fascination as Wade triumphantly announced, "Behold! The electronic repository for Fan Fiction Dot Net!"

With a reverse flip of the switch and another bright flash, the camera returned to Wade's room, no worse for wear after its brief excursion to the other side.

Kim nodded in approval. "Great job, Wade! It works, and it's apparently safe." With a mischievous grin, she asked, "Now, how about us paying a nice little visit to our favorite fanboy?"

Shego also grinned with evil glee. "Sounds good to me, Kim. So, how do we find the perverted little devil?"

Kim typed in the nom-de-plume of the fanfic writer, KPfanboy. She immediately frowned. "nnNNGGHH! The site's password protected. I can't get his email address without it. You think you can crack it, Wade?"

But before the youthful computer genius could respond, Shego spoke up. "Here, let me try first."

She typed in a short password, and the writer's email address dutifully appeared on the screen.

Kim was amazed. "Spankin', Shego! What was it?"

Shego smiled slyly. "_Shego Rocks_. Just call it a hunch."

Wade swiftly typed the email address into his computer. "All right, the PDVI will transport you directly to the computer where his fan fiction email account originates. Just type a message back to me when you want to return."

He motioned toward the laser scanner. "Well, ladies. Ready for showtime?"

Kim grinned widely and nodded in acknowledgement. "Bring it on, Wade."

As soon as the three young women were in place, Wade again flipped the control switch. The trio disappeared in an intense blue flash, appearing a moment later in Carl's darkened room.

Kim whispered, "Well, we made it. Shego, a little light please?"

The villainess dutifully responded, lighting up one hand with her viridescent plasma. Kim spotted the light switch and flipped it on. She gasped as she beheld Shego and Yori.

"Whoa! We're … we're _human_! This is so way cool!"

She ran her fingers first through her long red hair, now able to feel each individual strand. She felt her mission outfit, noticing the new deeper texture of the cloth.

"So _this_ is what it feels like to be alive. It's like before, but just so much more _real_ now. It's like all my senses have been suddenly heightened."

She was aware of her heart beating, and the sense of her chest rising and falling with every breath she took.

Shego likewise tried a few deep breaths, welcoming the new sensation. She checked out the texture of her green and black harlequin catsuit, experimentally flexing the muscles of her arms and legs. "Hmm, this outfit seems a bit more snug than before, but it sure feels flexible."

Yori seemed the least surprised, taking everything in stride. Still wearing her black ninja outfit, she removed her samurai sword from its scabbard and tried a few quick slashes. "Yes, my balance remains unaffected. And this feeling of being truly alive is quite invigorating."

Kim looked around the room and immediately noticed the unusual décor. "Uh, Shego, check this out."

One wall was entirely covered with posters of her and Shego, some from the original series, some by later artists and animators.

Both of Shego's eyebrows went up in shock. "Wow. A little obsessed, aren't we?"

One particular poster caught her eye. It was a still from the original show with Shego on top of Kim during one of their many fights, Ron peering out from behind an overturned table. The caption read, _Subtext: What were we supposed to think?_

Shego frowned while scratching her chin. "Well, I gotta agree that pose does look a bit suggestive, Kim."

Kim frowned as well. "True, but that was just a single frame in a much longer fight sequence. Plus, we were locked in mortal combat at the time, each trying to kill the other. Not much time for kissy-kissy."

Kim tapped her chin as she thought a little more. "Still, within the context of just that frame … hmm. I wonder if that was the writer's idea, or just an overly imaginative animator? Someone should have reminded him that I was only about sixteen there, which made me a minor at the time."

Shego shrugged. "It's anyone's guess, but I really think it depends on one's interpretation of the material. Eye of the beholder kind of thing. This is still Disney by the way, and believe it or not, not everyone is trying to get stuff past the radar. Sometimes a cigar really is just a cigar, Kim."

With a heavy sigh, Shego added, "But no matter what The Mouse intended, you just can't escape Rule 34, Kimmie."

Kim cocked an eyebrow. "Rule 34? What's that?"

Shego gave her a shocked look as her jaw dropped. She stuttered, "Uh, I'll tell you when your older, Kim."

Kim grimaced. "I have a feeling I don't want to know the answer to that no matter _how_ old I get, Shego. In any case, all I know right now is that this overstimulated high school fanboy has taken his fantasy to a wrongsick level."

Shego grinned, "True, but now that we're in the writer's world, perhaps we can pay our creators a social call and maybe just ask them what they really intended?"

Kim agreed, "Not a bad idea, Shego, but our appearance would probably just send them into cardiac arrest before we got a straight answer. Let's stay focused on the job at hand first."

Yori nodded. "Yes, Kim-chan. It is time to turn the tables on this underage devotee of hot lesbian martial artist sex, as one of my favorite fanfic writers had me utter once."

As if on cue, Carl walked into the room. His shocked face revealed his utter astonishment at the unexpected presence of the trio, who were now looking at him with evil grins.

Kim easily began, "Hi. I'm Kim Possible, and these are my friends Shego and Yori. We'd like to talk with you about your current fanfic …"

* * *

_**To Be Concluded ...**_


	3. Chapter 3

Carl froze dead in his tracks, absolutely speechless. Being suddenly faced with the virtual personification of his favorite fanfic characters was a shock. But he could also easily read in their faces their apparent aversion for his story so far, and they were clearly not amused. Cold fear began to grip his young fanboy heart.

He stammered, "K-Kim? Sh-Shego? Yuri?"

Yori's gaze hardened immediately. "Yuri? I trust you refer to the common Japanese female name, and not to the male-targeted manga of which I harbor an intense dislike. Otherwise, I would be compelled to offer a strong physical response to assuage my honor."

She casually tossed her samurai blade back and forth between her expert hands. Carl's fear ratcheted up a notch, and he desperately wished he hadn't consumed so much cola over the past few hours. Under his present physical and emotional duress, his bladder reacted in the only way it could. A dark spot appeared on his jeans and began to spread.

Shego chuckled, "Aw, Kimmie! We've made the kid wet his pants!"

Kim clapped a hand over her mouth to keep from laughing. A trace of a smile tugged at Yori's lips as well.

Carl began babbling, "P-Please don't hurt me! It's just a story, all in good fun! It's nothing personal, honest! I really do love the show!"

Shego crossed her arms and slowly began tapping her foot. Giving Kim a sidelong glance, she drawled half-jokingly, "Well Kim, do we kill him?"

Yori added with a conspiratorial grin, "Yes, Kim-chan, and shall we do it slowly and painfully, or with one quick merciful thrust?"

She slashed her blade down, easily slicing a thin sliver of wood off the end of Carl's desk. And with that blow, Carl finally reached his maximum threshold of fright and passed out into a heap on the floor.

The trio burst out laughing. Kim wiped a tear from her eye and asked Shego, "Now, you weren't really serious, were you?"

Shego just smiled back with a look akin to the Cheshire Cat.

Kim crossed her arms and began shaking her head. "Now, Shego, I really hope you're kidding, because we're not going to snuff the poor kid, even though your character might be capable of that. I think that's really a stretch even for you, but that's just _way_ too over the top for me or Yori, please and thank you."

Yori solemnly bowed her head. "Except where _honor_ is concerned, Kim-Chan."

Kim cocked an eyebrow. "Uh, riiight."

She immediately recalled the title of a recent Yori-centric fanfic and its fateful conclusion: _Subtext of Honor_. A small chill went up Kim's spine.

Kim tapped her chin as she quickly tried to consider any reasonable course of action. She let out a small sigh as she looked down at the teen passed out on the floor and remarked, "Poor Carl. Come to think of it, in some ways his devilish nature reminds me a little of the Tweebs, and I haven't killed _them..._"

She grinned and added, "...yet."

Yori smiled back and purred, "Of course, Kim-chan. Morally, we are still compelled to act as our characters would in the original show, unless a writer should script a new story."

Kim snapped her fingers. "Good point, Yori! Which gives me a totally spankin' idea ..."

A minute later, Carl began to come to. He found himself bound and gagged, seated in front of his computer. His hands however were just loose enough to reach the keyboard. Kim, Shego and Yori stood over him as he stared back at them, the fear still apparent in his youthful eyes.

Kim spun him around and began, "Okay, here's the deal. We're going to help you finish this fanfic, but with _our_ input."

Shego spun him back to face her and lit her plasma to underscore that they meant business. "And we'll _consider_ letting you live as long as you cooperate. Clear?"

The reflection of Shego's flaming plasma danced in Carl's frightened eyes. He quickly nodded, too dizzy now to offer even token resistance.

Kim grinned and began, "Okay then. Here's the sitch …"

In a little over an hour, the story was complete. After running it through spell check, Kim took the honor of hitting the submit button, and the story was officially posted.

"There. Now, fair warning Carl: no revisions to this story. Remember that I'm the girl who can do anything, and that means returning here any time I want to. Got it?"

Shego bent down and whispered huskily into his ear, "Yeah, and we know where you live now. Next time, you won't get off as easily."

Carl nodded again in complete understanding of exactly where he stood. With a nod from Kim, Yori cut his bindings loose with a quick slash of her blade.

Kim then quickly typed in a message to Wade: "_Mission_ _accomplished. We're ready to go home_." In another few moments, a bright flash occurred, and the trio disappeared.

Carl removed the gag from his mouth, stood up unsteadily and walked over to his bed where he collapsed in relief that he was still alive and in one piece.

"Man, I've _really_ got to get out more, just like Mom said."

A dreamy smile then appeared on his face. "But on the other hand, the three of them were all just _so_ _hot_ …"

* * *

As soon as they reappeared in Wade's room, he eagerly began grilling the victorious trio. "So what happened? Did you find the fanfic writer you were looking for?"

Kim easily answered, "Yup. And so not the drama: the little perv was putty in our hands. I don't think we'll be having any more problems with him. Especially with the help Shego and Yori here provided."

Both of the other young women beamed proudly, pleased that their intimidation had paid off so well.

Wade anxiously asked, "So, what did you ladies do?"

Shego answered, "Well, after scaring the hell out of him, we had him rewrite his little tome with a plot of _our_ choosing. I'm now the Empress of Europe with Drakken as _my_ henchman, and Midas is now on call 24/7." She sighed heavily. "Ah, no more waiting for his golden touch …"

Yori bowed slightly and continued, "And I have attained the deep honor of becoming the new Headmistress of Yamanouchi, with Sensei retiring as Headmaster Emeritus. I now enjoy the blessed duty and responsibility of leading my secret ninja school into the 21st century, and Sensei now has much more time for his gardening."

Wade then queried, "And what about you, Kim?"

Kim sighed happily. "Well, Ron and I are now engaged, but we'll be delaying the marriage until after I graduate from Harvard. But that shouldn't be a problem, as Ron will have plenty to keep him busy as the new CEO of Smarty Mart, after I had Martin Smarty choose an early retirement. But we'll still have enough time to continue our crime-fighting on the new Disney series, _Kim Possible: The College Years!_ And Shego has promised to remain _just _bad enough for an occasional guest villainess spot."

She turned to face her green-skinned adversary. "Just so long as you don't use your mastery of Europe as a springboard to try and conquer the _rest_ of the world, that is."

With hooded eyes, Shego merely grinned as she replied, "I'll take that under advisement, Cupcake."

Yori added, "And Kim-chan has left a possible pairing open for you as well, Wade-san. When you are older, Monique-chan will find you irresistible after you buff up on a SmartyMart 5000 exercise machine."

Wade exclaimed, "Wow! Thanks, Kim! That's just the kind of encouragement I need to get in shape!" He nodded in approval as he continued. "So, it looks like you gals had a really successful mission. Just out of curiosity, did you make any other changes?"

Kim began to blush. "Well, just one. I couldn't leave without a tip of the hat to another indispensable member of Team Possible …"

* * *

_Epilogue_

Within 24 hours, Carl was surprised at the record number of reviews to "his" story, many of them positive. He sighed softly to himself, sad that his latest Kigo had been hijacked by none other than Kim Possible herself, but pleased that he could take the credit for what seemed to be a popular story. He began reading the latest review.

_Hi Kpfanboy!_

_I really enjoyed your story. It sounded at first like it was going to be another Kigo, but then it took that sharp turn and became something completely different. And your dialogue and characterization were incredible! It was like you were actually channeling Kim, Shego and Yori! How did you manage that? _

_And although I feel a college K/R engagement is a bit premature, at least they're holding off the wedding until after KP graduates. But Harvard? I thought for sure she'd attend college overseas. And Ron as the new owner of Smarty-Mart? Not sure if he's ready to handle that, but if he can defeat Warhok and Warmonga, running a corporation should be a piece of cake in comparison. _

_But the one thing I really couldn't buy was Rufus becoming the new manager of the local Bueno Nacho. For crying out loud, you know as well as I do that he'd literally eat up all the profits in nothing flat! Well, keep up the good writing. Later!_

_**- Finis -**_

_

* * *

_

_J__ust a reminder that this is a work of fiction, and all fanfic writers out there may rest assured that there's no way that any KP character could come to life and threaten a real person. I know this for a fact, as Shego informed me personally right before she torched my computer …_


End file.
